Sex, Secrets & Sales: The Dark Side of High Achievement | Stories With Traction Podcast

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Habits of Sales Champions Keynote. 

In this episode, Matt Zaun sits down with Ian Koniak, founder and CEO of Untap Your Sales Potential, for a raw and powerful conversation about what it truly takes to succeed in business — and in life — when the spotlight fades.

Ian opens up about his journey from being Salesforce’s #1 enterprise account executive to hitting rock bottom in a battle with hidden addictions that nearly destroyed his family. He explains how that wake-up call, confession, and complete surrender reshaped his definition of success and fueled his mission to help other high achievers do the inner work, not just the outer hustle.

In addition, they talk about:

✅ The hidden dopamine traps that drive high performers to destructive habits.
✅ Why many top achievers secretly struggle, and how to break the cycle before you hit rock bottom.
✅ How to rewire your brain for sustainable success through a “dopamine detox” and daily disciplines.

…and so much more!

BIOS

Ian Koniak is the founder and CEO of Untap Your Sales Potential, where he helps high-performing sellers and sales leaders master their mindset, habits, and selling skills to reach new levels of income and impact, all while preserving what matters most. A former #1 enterprise account executive at Salesforce, Ian’s coaching and speaking have inspired thousands to unlock authentic, sustainable success.

Matt Zaun is an award-winning speaker and storyteller who empowers organizations to attract more clients through the art of strategic storytelling. Matt’s past engagements have driven significant sales increases for over 300 organizations, ranging from financial institutions to the health and wellness industry. 

 

*Below is an AI-generated transcript, which may contain errors

 

Matt Zaun 

I've been anticipating this conversation for quite some time. This is a conversation that needs to happen. Today, I'm joined by Ian Koniak, founder and CEO of Untap Your Sales Potential.

Welcome to the show, Ian.

 

Ian Koniak 

Thank you, Matt. Thanks for having me on, man.

 

Matt Zaun 

Great to be here. Yeah, I really appreciate your time in anticipation of this episode. I did research on you, your background, and I could spend the entire episode just talking about your achievements, what you've done, wildly successful as it pertains to sales and now what you do in coaching, incredible stuff.

But I don't want to start with success. I actually want to start with devastation. just want to dive right into the challenges that you've had.

Then, after that, we could talk a lot about what you've done and then backtrack and talk a little A little bit more about your story, maybe early childhood, but you shared an incredibly powerful message a month ago on LinkedIn.

In fact, I remember where I was when I was reading it. was actually in the Phoenix airport getting ready for a flight, and I was scrolling, and this stopped me in my tracks just because it was so incredibly powerful.

So I want to start. want to read part of it for the audience today, and then I just want you to talk a little bit about where you were from an outward appearance perspective, from that sales perspective, the success, but also what you were dealing with internally.

So this is what you had wrote. Five years ago, I hit rock bottom. On paper, I was crushing it.

Number one enterprise account executive at Salesforce. Seven-figure W-2. Coaching business taking off. Beautiful family with a second baby on the way.

But behind the scenes, I was living a double life. Struggling with addiction. Lying to my wife. Drowning in .

Shame and secrecy. Telling myself this is the last time over and over. Then came February 13, 2020. I confessed to my wife she was pregnant and a stress center into contractions.

We rushed to the hospital fearing we might lose our baby. I dropped to my knees and prayed, God, please don't take my baby.

I promise I will get help. The doctor found a heartbeat. It was a wake-up call in the beginning of my recovery.

What an incredibly powerful, vulnerable story. So talk a little bit about that. Paint the picture for listeners on where you were outwardly.

If I saw you, if I was your neighbor, what would I have seen? But then what were you battling with internally?

 

Ian Koniak 

Yeah, this will probably hit home. We're going to go right in, aren't we?

 

Matt Zaun 

Yeah, buddy.

 

Ian Koniak 

love it. Thinking back, if I kind of think about my life at that time. On paper, I would have been viewed as extremely successful.

had been at Salesforce for seven or eight years, and I was their number one enterprise account executive. I had cracked seven figures in W-2 income.

I was viewed as one of the top performers, respected, got all the accolades and awards. At home, I had a beautiful, loving wife.

I had purchased my dream home. Um, and I decided that I was going to commit my life at that point to coaching and serving others and sharing my gifts of the world.

And I had this, um, this vice, this, this darkness that had been with me for my, my whole life.

And I had never, um, told my wife about it. I had never, uh, really shared it with anyone. And it was, uh, addiction.

And it was something that I didn't think was addiction. I was in denial. Um, and this, unfortunately, is how.

denial. The vast majority of men view this. But I thought, you know, watching was okay. Going to strip clubs here and there at a work trip was okay.

And I was married to a pretty conservative wife. And when we got married, she told me, you know, I'm not okay with this stuff.

So I kept it secret. It was not something I talked about with her. I just kind of had this part of me.

When I'd go on these trips and work trips, I would flirt with women. I would view . I might go to a strip club.

Kept this part of me secret because I thought that she was in the wrong to think this was something that was a problem.

In fact, everyone I knew did it. Every man I knew did it. So I was what you would call a high functioning addict that was in denial.

And around this time, I had started coaching and I had started trying to help serve others. Yet I had this kind of secret that I was keeping.

To make it, I guess I'll just be explicit, I knew going to strip clubs was wrong. I knew, certainly knew going to a massage parlor and getting a happy ending was wrong.

I knew that much, but I did it a couple times a year, and I'd say this is the last time, because I knew my wife wasn't okay with it.

And about six months prior to February, in that period of time, I decided I'm done. I'm going to quit strip clubs and I'm going quit once and for all.

And I was going on roughly seven or eight months free of doing this, but I was still viewing .

And around that time, I discovered webcams. Now, at the time of this recording, OnlyFans is one of the fastest growing sites in the world, and that's men who are talking, chatting, or getting nudes from real women online.

And it's blown up. So that's the kind of thing I was still doing. OnlyFans. It didn't exist at the time, but there were other sites that were similar where you could have a chat with a lot of women, and she would strip.

So in my twisted head, I thought that was okay. I thought I traded this live strip club in place of a digital one, and I decided to tell my wife because I wanted secretly permission to keep doing it.

There was a moral consciousness that started coming online as I started coaching and serving and really trying to help others that told me.

was the voice of God. It was God saying, you can't do this and do that. You can't serve others for a living and lie and keep secrets from your own wife.

So I wanted to confess, and I didn't tell her everything I had done during our marriage, but I told her and asked her permission.

I told her about these sites, these cam sites, and I said, how do you feel about this? I know you don't like strip clothes, but how do you feel about me doing something like this?

And she... And to the ground. And that was where that post came from. She, not only did she ask me, she didn't really know what it was.

She's like, really? There's sites where there's real women who are stripping for you? That's cheating. And I said, it's not cheating.

It's just fantasy or whatnot. And she's like, no, it's cheating. And I kind of was like defensive initially, but then she got really upset.

She started crying and she collapsed. And then it got worse and she started having these contractions. And when you think you're not hurting anyone because you're doing something in secret, you can justify it.

But when those secrets come out and you see that it not only can cause pain to your partner, but it literally can cause death to your unborn child, your world immediately, immediately breaks.

changes. And your worldview changes. And that's what happened to me. And I, I. I always have been a believer in God.

I'd never been religious or a man of faith. And I just prayed with all my heart. I just prayed in the way to the hospital.

And I'm very grateful as I share this five years later. But at the time, it was sheer panic. It was, please don't take this baby.

Please, I will do whatever it takes to get help. And I promised God I would get help. And I said, that's all I promised God.

said, don't take the baby. I'm going to get help. And I fortunately, the doctor, here's the crazy thing. The doctor put the ultrasound at what felt like forever.

He finally popped up and he said, there's a heartbeat. And my mom was there. I called her frantically. Mom, get to the hospital.

Something's wrong. Sandy, like we thought we were going to lose the baby. And my son, Luke, is the best thing in the world.

And I, the doctor looks up when he feels the heartbeat. He's like, what's What are you cheating? Something happened like that?

First thing he said. And I said something like that. I didn't think it was cheating. I thought having a girlfriend on the side was cheating, not looking at webcams, or strip clubs.

And I said, why do you ask that? He said, I see it every single week. Women come in here with trauma from finding out their husbands are doing things in secret.

And that was, for me, the eye-opener, that I realized that this wasn't just me. This is something that many men hide, whether it's , whether it's strip clubs, whether it's chatting, flirting, men behaving badly.

I was telling you this before we got online, but I just coached my third victim in her own work of harassment from superiors that were flirting and inviting them to hotel rooms.

And there's been more lawsuits than I can tell you that have been swept under the rug from bosses and executives and leaders that objectified their own female sellers.

That I coach and it just breaks my heart because no one talks about this stuff. And it breaks my heart because I was the guy who thought it was okay to do this inside of a marriage because everyone else does it.

It's so damn normalized. So yeah, I was an addict and I used as a way to escape and I thought it was okay.

And once I stopped after that moment, I got help. I got into recovery. It's been five years since I gave up and over five years.

And I'm helping other men do the same thing. But more importantly, my wife and I are closer than ever.

Our relationship is built on honesty. I confessed everything. And my marriage is, for me, what a good marriage was always meant to be, which is one based on honesty and trust and open communication and not lies and secrets that men are ashamed of sharing because their wives would get upset.

So I'm going to pause there. I know I shared a lot, but I gave up . I gave up getting drunk.

Weed, Adderall, that once I tackled that, all my other addictive tendencies became apparent, and I was able to shave them, and very proud to be five years sober and be able to share my story openly with people who might be struggling and think they're alone because they're not.

 

Matt Zaun 

Wow. Thank you so much for sharing that. Thank you for your vulnerability. Absolutely incredible. It's incredible to hear that struggle victory story for sure.

A lot to unpack with what you said. So one of the first things that you jumped into when I asked, what would people have seen on the outside?

You said, I was respected. So clearly the identity that you wanted was rooted in respect, right? You wanted to visually have that respect.

How did, it's almost like you were playing the part of an actor where clearly you were wildly successful, right?

So you were really good at acting. How did that fray your identity from wanting to have respect, wanting to be that performer?

But then you're completely someone else at a different time.

 

Ian Koniak 

My identity was shattered. My whole identity in life up to that point was not just respect, but success. I wanted to be viewed as successful.

All I cared about, I come from a background. My father went bankrupt. He passed away when I was only 20 years old.

He had a lifetime struggle with addiction as well, alcohol, food. My mom had to work multiple jobs, raised me initially as a single mom before remarrying.

And I had this kind of opposite view of what success looked like in modeling after my mom and not after my dad, who went bankrupt and died.

I had this, since I was very young, this deep desire to never repeat what my dad did, which hurt.

Lost his family, couldn't pay child support, and died. For me, that was, I want to be like my mom, like my father.

And it was like, this work at all costs, succeed at all costs. And sales was great for that because you can basically determine your own income.

And so when all of this happened, you know, the reason people go to addictive behaviors is because there's something missing inside.

They don't feel happy with themselves. So even though I had all of the success on the outside, there was still a void on the inside.

And I would fill that with escapism, whether it's alcohol, drugs, , whatever. I would literally want to escape because I wasn't truly happy with myself.

And so when you have something like this happen, your entire identity is gone. It's like you get into the heart because you're broken, right?

God loves a broken heart. And at this point, I was broken. I was pleading. I had fully surrendered, Matt, to whatever was going to happen.

It was like I was reborn in that moment. And all the values of respect and success, none of that mattered anymore.

The only thing that mattered was saving my family and getting healthy and all the other . I called Salesforce shortly thereafter, and I told them, I'm dealing with addiction recovery.

I need to be in therapy. I need to get help. You know, I'll do my part with the deals I have, but if I'm not around or if I'm not taking more, like, here's what's going on.

And I told my boss and I told my boss's boss, and that became the focal point for my life is saving my marriage and being a man that I wanted to be.

And it's like, none of that mattered. None of the success mattered because I wasn't successful. I was a man who almost killed his kid and had been lying and had, it changed my definition of success is kind of the short answer.

 

Matt Zaun 

So something that it's concerning to me for someone that's going to be listening, thinking I'll never get to that point.

They might be. Dealing with something similar, but I'll never get there. And it's amazing that so many people have to hit rock bottom before there's change.

So what words of encouragement would you share to someone that right now is thinking, I would never go that far.

I'll never get to that point. How would you spare at least one person from having to hit rock bottom to make that transition, make that change?

 

Ian Koniak 

It's a question I get asked a lot. Do you have to hit rock bottom to give up some of these vices or behaviors?

My advice would be don't let it get there. Don't let it get to rock bottom. You know if you're doing something that you're not proud of because of how you feel afterwards.

Whether it's getting drunk, it's not just the or the behavior. It's the same exact thing with hiding spending, keeping secrets of any kind, drinking in secret.

Addiction is addiction and addicts are liars. And they hide stuff. And so the best place to start is to stop doing the thing you're ashamed of.

You don't need to confess. You don't need to have a near-death experience for somebody you love. You don't need to go to, in my case, some pretty extreme measures.

I told my wife everything. I literally confessed everything at the risk of losing my marriage. You don't necessarily need to do that.

But what you need to do is stop doing what you're doing and make sure that's not a behavior that you keep repeating and telling yourself you're not going to do it, whether it's once a week, once a quarter, once a year.

It's kind of gnarly. One of the companies I went on a club trip with, it was down in Mexico, and a lot of the leaders were married, and they all went to the strip clubs down there, which were brothels, and they disappeared.

And they were all cheating, and no one talked about it. And it was like this thing that was done in the darkness.

Like, if you did that, and you don't want to bring it up from 10 years ago, so be it.

Don't bring it up. But don't. Do the thing in secret that you know is not okay. That's the place to start.

I had a guy I coached that could not confess to his wife what he had been doing. This is a guy who had been seeing prostitutes, unfortunately, when he was traveling.

And it happened a lot of times. And he just would not confess. had two daughters. And he was like, Ian, I feel like such an .

I feel like such a fraud because I won't tell my wife. And you told your wife everything. And you know what I told him?

I said, don't do it. Don't confess. But stop doing it. And he, by God's grace, it's been three years.

got a certified addiction therapist. And he stopped. And he didn't confess to his wife. And he's so happy. And he's so fulfilled.

And his marriage is better than ever. But those skeletons are going to stay in the closet for this guy.

Just don't keep doing it. Don't keep living the lie. So gradually, that's not going to be you anymore. The longer you proliferate and stay in this thing, the more it's still your identity.

But if it's two years, three years, four years, I was courageous enough to tell my wife. I wife about the cams because I hadn't gone six months without doing the other stuff that I knew she wasn't okay with.

And that was the start. And then once I found out she wasn't okay with anything, that's when I said, we're done.

And I stopped everything. But you got to stop the thing that you can't do, whether it's chatting with the woman at work, whether it's taking off your ring at the party, whether it's, you know, looking at in secret.

If it's something your wife would not be okay with, my high recommendation is have a conversation with her, see how she feels about it, right?

But if you know she's going to be pissed off and you know you've already made some mistakes or done some things that could cost your marriage, right, then that's up to you and your conscience.

I will say there's freedom on the other side of confession, getting some of this off your chest and really sharing and letting them choose to be with you because it's something that they know you versus choosing to stay because of what they don't know.

Man, there is so much power in letting my wife have that choice to know that she's going to be.

With the real me, including the dark side that she didn't know. And because of that, the light was shined in our marriage.

I'm not that person anymore. And she'll still once in a while kind of share her pain of some of the stuff, but it's so rare.

And we're so close. And together, we're a unit. So start with honesty in your marriage. I think that's a good place to start.

Start with stopping doing the thing that you're ashamed of. And then if you keep doing it or you need more support, get the help you need, whether it's alcohol or or whatever.

There's nothing to be ashamed of. Addiction thrives in secrecy. So going to a 12-step group or getting a therapist or really sharing with somebody versus keeping this is the most liberating, freeing thing.

And then the professional can advise you on the best way to go about it. But there's a lot of places to start.

You don't have to. Hopefully, you'll never have to go through what I went through to make the changes you need in your life.

Because shame. So as long as you carry shame and secrets, you're never going to be the person God put you on this earth to be.

 

Matt Zaun 

That's the way I view it. Yes, you mentioned alcohol. So I'm thankful that you did so we can bring other elements of addiction in, whether it's, you had mentioned , alcohol, marijuana, any kind of drugs whatsoever.

So I want to talk about the dopamine infusion because I think it's really, really important, especially from a business perspective.

And you're right, very few people talk about this. So one of the things that I was battling for quite some time was speaking to me is an incredible experience.

I love speaking, whether it's keynotes, workshops, it fuels me. And it gives me this incredible feeling, right? Because I feel that I've worked really hard at honing in on that craft.

I have decades of experience doing it. So I love being on stage and connecting with my audience and sharing different things that I've learned over the years with them.

The challenge that I had was I didn't want the dopamine to go down. So one of the ways that I filled that void, so to speak, was through alcohol.

And I can't tell you how many times I would get down off stage and I would go right to a bar.

And I remember this one moment in particular. So I, you know, I wear when I'm on stage, I like to wear a suit, no tie.

And there was this one moment where I was speaking at this gorgeous hotel, stunningly beautiful hotel. This company put me up in, and it was like, I don't want to say it was a penthouse, but it was an unbelievable suite they put me up in.

And I'm on the keynote speaker at this conference. So I get done speaking and there's a line of people shaking hands, connecting.

 

Ian Koniak 

And here's, that's the dopamine rush, right? That's me being a mini celebrity in the moment.

 

Matt Zaun 

That's me. Like, this is awesome, right? It's the peak of success, so to speak. It comes to the speaking, not world, but just where I was in that moment.

And then I get done, I walk out of the ballroom, and I immediately change into street clothes. And I'm sitting out in the lobby, and people are passing me by, no one even recognized me in my street clothes.

So the dopamine had plummeted. And my first thought was, where's the bar in the hotel? So I went right to the bar and I started drinking.

And I can't tell you how many times I get done with the speaking engagement, and I would drive to the airport, I'd go right to the bar, and I'd start drinking, especially if I'm speaking on the West Coast.

Because I know I have a bunch of hours before I get back to my home in the Philadelphia area before I'm sobered up, so to speak.

So I'm going to speak about that, because here's why I want to bring that up. Because you and I deal with a lot of high achievers, right?

People, they're getting that rush, whether it's sales, or speaking, or if they're a CEO running a... Massive organization. So there's this massive dopamine infusion, this rush.

And then when they're with their family, they're not around people that are listening to every single thing that they're saying, right?

So if you're a CEO of a company, you know, you have hundreds of employees and you've got a bunch of yes men around you.

And then you come home and you have little kids and your wife and your kids aren't listening or your husband isn't listening to everything you're saying.

Um, how, how do you advise people in a healthy way, steeped in wisdom when they do want to try to chase that dopamine rush?

Where do they reach?

 

Ian Koniak 

they're not reaching for alcohol or or drugs, man, it's so good. This is something I deal with today too.

So I'm an addict. I'll always be an addict just because I stopped doing those things. Doesn't mean that I have that same.

If you think about like addictive personalities, it's this constant need to chase and to feel a rush, right? You go to those things because they make you feel

Feel a certain way. Whatever those things are, alcohol, it doesn't matter. Weed, you want to feel good. And naturally, coaching people or speaking or even going on podcasts right now and talking about this stuff gives a sense of meaning and purpose and excitement and adrenaline that is not going to be in the mundane day-to-day parts of our family life, our personal life.

And so this is something that has to do more with brain chemistry than it does with activity. So if the brain is constantly wired to eat dopamine, that's happening in the pleasure center of the brain, the nucleus accumbens.

And there's a section of your brain that literally is needing dopamine. So the more you get a hit, whether it's meetings at work or speaking to people or like constantly go, go, go, like that adrenaline.

Being a seller or leader and you're just busy is giving that satisfaction. then when you go in for the day and with the family, like you're still wired in that sense.

And you want to keep that high going. And in order to not want the high, you actually have to rewire the brain to consume and be less dependent on dopamine.

So what I recommend to people is to do a dopamine detox. And the way that it shows up at home for a lot of people is they'll go on their phone, they'll go watch a game, they'll get a drink, like they want to keep that feeling.

But that's just your brain needing to have some type of consumption that gives that feeling. So my, there's a lot of things I advise, but one of the things I advise is to minimize the phone at home in the personal life.

So for me, putting away my phone at night and just sitting with my family and being proud. was a huge challenge that i had to um to adjust to when even now i have like busy days where i'm speaking and i'm with hundreds of people you know running events um and i just i i cannot speak enough about calming the nervous system in the physiology of your brain chemistry so some things you can do to kind of not be so dependent there's healthy things you can do to keep the chase but the real that's a bad mandate right having a new hobby a new goal a new pleasure you're just hitting the pleasure center in different ways that's one way to do it you can have other things that you do with your family like like go go swimming after work with the kids or play a game with them or you know um have have something you do with watch a show like there's ways to to keep that feel good feeling without the alcohol but the real thing i found is is rewiring the brain so that it doesn't crave the dopamine so much and the way that i've been

Able to do that, or at least attempted to do that, because I'll always have that kind of addictive nature, is to limit how much I'm on my phone at night, specifically putting my phone away at six when I get in and trying to have time from six to nine just to cook and talk to my wife and hang out with the kids.

And I'll be honest, again, my addiction wasn't necessarily alcohol. I'll still have a glass of wine here and there, but it's a glass of wine a couple times a week.

It's not a dependency of escaping into that feeling of more than a glass. So I think limiting your phone and how much you pick up your phone, there's an app called Opal, which can block applications on your phone that you might just default going to.

When you don't have that thing to grab, you're forced to sit with yourself. That's one way to do it is limit how much quick hits you get from social media or sports or checking stocks or whatever.

That's made a huge difference in helping me be more present with my family. Another thing is meditation. When you're forced to sit with yourself for 10 minutes in silence, your brain actually and your nervous system actually can calm down and you can actually just be without needing something to change your state.

Um, work is extremely powerful. Just taking some deep breaths, whether it's box breathing or 664 breathing or, um, any kind of, um, Wittenhoff.

I find that that physiological and neurochemical, um, depletion of needing that chase or that rush has a huge impact from just being able to go home and just be and appreciate what's in front of you.

The beautiful family you have, the amazing partner you have, the, the joy of just resting and not having to need to consume something is, is the, is the addiction, right?

And, and being able to just be is the medicine. So the more you can do to practice stillness and presence and not need to like constantly have stimulation in the brain, the more the.

Brain will adjust to be able to not need the chase or the drink or the or whatever the heck you pick your poison, right?

So that's what I've done is I spent a lot of time in silence and meditation with breath work, with dopamine detox, and just gradually kind of pruning and shedding this need for stimulation that had dominated almost my entire life.

And again, I gave up Adderall , alcohol, and weed simultaneously. So you can imagine the shock to my nervous system and my brain at that cause.

But then as I did that, I started to appreciate a walk. Now I go outside in the sun. I just sit in a chair and I just breathe.

Before this podcast, I just breathe for five minutes because I could feel my nervous system getting heightened. I just needed to calm myself.

So really, when you don't have the medicine, you can tune into what your body and your brain are feeling, and you can recognize these kind of triggers when you're feeling a craving or something, and you can have tools to be able to...

Respond in healthy ways, and there's a million healthy ways I can give you, but those are some of the few, like the basic sunshine, hugging the kids, like going for a walk, exercise is huge.

The more you can do, I run marathons, or I used to, now I do intensive weight training with the trainer.

That releases a lot of the dopamine, and you just have this afterthought. Cold showers, amazing way to change the state.

So this is the kind of stuff I work on with people, because you've got to replace the unhealthy behavior with something positive, and these are all positive, healthy things that, you know, that really make a difference for me anyway.

 

Matt Zaun 

Wow, a ton of wisdom in what you said. Really appreciate you sharing that. I do want to talk about you as this number one enterprise account executive at Salesforce, right?

Because a lot of people would kill to get to that level. Today, you're a completely different person. You know, you're mentioning all these strategies that you have, all this wisdom that you have, these tactics.

You've done a tremendous amount of work on yourself in the last half decade, so you're a completely different person.

How did you get to that level before? Was it just relying on sheer grit, just an intense, intense work ethic, especially with none of the strategies you have today?

How did you get to that level and still be battling all of these different?

 

Ian Koniak 

That's kind of crazy, right? Some of the most successful achievers are the ones that have these dark secrets, struggle with alcohol or womanizing, how they view it, whatever.

I think the high achievers are the ones that do those things the most because they have this insatiable drive for success.

So if you are determined to succeed at all costs, you're going to figure out a way to make it happen.

You are going to be persistent. You're going to be resilient. You're going to work hard. You're going to win at all costs is the bottom line because it's in you.

You're a winner. And that's me. And that doesn't change, by the way, whether I meditate or stop using substance.

I'm still going to win. We just made the Inc. 5000, and I'm freaking proud of it. And you still have that ego.

Like, I want to come and accomplish great things and make great money and have a great life. Like, executives got to where they are for that reason.

But that same drive that got them there, right, also is the same. There's a yin and the yang. So if you think about, like, that drive, there's got to be a release somewhere.

That, like, what you're talking about, that crazy intensity of, like, speaking and prepping and being the hero, like, then you drop hard and you need to, like, get back up.

So it's got to go somewhere. There's this thing called leakage that I talk about, right? It's generally this energy, right?

You have so much, you're riding a high all the time, and you lose it. And then it's like, because there's not that balance, because there's not that, because you can't just be in the mundane, it ends up being, oh, I yelled at my wife.

Out of nowhere, like, I screamed, you know, that's leakage. It's like this built-up energy has to leak out, or I slipped and I got...

Or I, you know, did something like, it's got to go somewhere when you're running at that level of intensity.

And so it's very easy to be a high-functioning addict that is crushing it at work and be able to justify and say that release is me getting drunk once in while, me going to Vegas and behaving badly, me gambling.

Like that's an equally opposite release with the same intensity, but you're, it's like you're all in or you're all out.

That's what I see with high performers. They're all in at work. And when they're not working, they're all out and they freaking, you know, just check out completely.

And that's where like, I need to let off some steam. I need to celebrate. I need to do these things.

So that was me. I was the guy who was working so hard that I needed to release or a recorder or something.

I'd end up at a strip club or I'd get drunk and just hammered and just let off some steam.

And then I was feeling the shame of what I had done, but like it was coming from this place of being extreme.

Extremely successful in needing to have an outlet to let loose and let some of that steam and that stress out.

And I just happened to not know any other healthier ways to do it at the time. Like I talked about now, now I have those tools.

But at the time, I didn't have those tools. I just had alcohol, and I had , really, and maybe golf.

You know, golf is a little healthier, but I really wasn't informed in this other way of like releasing energy in a way that's really healthy or balanced like I am now.

So I don't know if that makes sense, but like- Yeah, absolutely. A ton of high achievers that are also, you know, alcoholics or using coke here and there or whatever.

Like I said, one of my former companies, we went down to Mexico and everyone let off steam in the worst possible way.

But that happens a lot. People have these secrets. You see it with Tiger Woods. You see it with, you know, a lot of people where they have this kind of double life and this other dark side.

And that dark side is proportional to the level of your success. That's the irony is the level of your success often can determine, you know, the darkness of your escape.

If you aren't anchored in God, if you aren't anchored in faith, if you aren't anchored in marriage and values, that if you don't have those core values, it's going to seep out, it's going to leak in some very dark shadow behavior.

And that was what was happening with me, but I was a talented seller.

 

Matt Zaun 

Yeah, so let's talk about that. So the transition from where you were at Salesforce to Untap Your Sales Potential, how has your recovery journey affected what you do at Untap Your Sales Potential?

I'm sure it's helped in many, many ways.

 

Ian Koniak 

What are some of those ways? It's been the core of my business success. Recovery principles of honesty and integrity and transparency and open communication, like that's what you do if you work the 12 steps.

You literally do an inventory of all your character flaws. Confess all of your wrongings through the step work. You rely on God for forgiveness and grace and also for surrendering to a higher power to say, hey, the way I've been working is actually not the way that is working.

How I've been working isn't working, right? If you end up, you know, doing things that you're ashamed of. So for me, that process of surrendering first and getting healthy gave me the confidence to quit.

So all this happened in 2020. I saved my marriage. I quit all the stuff I was doing. And then I quit Salesforce in 2021 and early 2021 to do full time because I knew that I had a greater mission to serve.

And the mission was helping people overcome the things that were holding them back. So whether it's limiting beliefs, whether it's addictive tendencies, like there's something at the core under all that that's causing that behavior.

That's the stuff I work on with my coaching is what are your belief systems about yourself? What are the...

Habits that, you know, you're ashamed of. So what we coach on is mindset, habits, and selling skills. And mindset's all about living your values, connecting with your why, connecting with deeper purpose, getting to an all-in state, living with integrity.

So I'm teaching these things that I had to learn through recovery into my program, and it's become the pillar of my content.

Habits is all about what I talked about, breathwork, meditation, prayer, exercise, doing things that give you a win, establishing a really, really solid morning routine, where when you start the day, you already feel great about yourself because you've taken care of yourself, and you can fill your cup.

That allows you to fill others' cup. And then my sales training is all about service, right? Not making it about you and your commissions, but making it about helping others.

And what I teach in sales is that sales is about having conversations focused on helping people solve problems or achieve goals.

And when you do that, your success is guaranteed. The more I can… Help others succeed, the more my success is guaranteed.

So I'm teaching these principles of how to be a good person, serve others, live with integrity, and have a happy, healthy life outside of work to my sellers.

And because of that, I have over 10 people that are making a million dollars a year by living this way, by practicing and selling this way.

And it's needed more than ever in the high-pressure world of sales. So I've kind of taken the experience that I've gone through and the pain and the mess that I've been through, and I've made it in my message.

So it's really infused into the content that I teach. And it's also infused into my marketing strategy. I wouldn't be here talking to you if I didn't post some of this stuff on LinkedIn, which then attracts people that are ashamed of how they're showing up and they want to work with me.

They want help with this. And they've seen the journey that I've done and my openness about it, and it inspires them to want to make the change and be the person they've always meant to be.

So it's really just been a rocket ship for my business, be transparent. It's been the difference. That's differentiator, that vulnerability, that authenticity, and that, I guess, relatability, because everyone has these struggles.

There's nothing to feel shamed of. I just talk about them because no one else will. So that's, I think, for a lot of people comforting to hear that and to know they're not alone and then they want to work with me to overcome some of this stuff.

So, yeah, it's really something that's fueled the business success.

 

Matt Zaun 

Wow. Wow, wow, wow. Well, thank you so much. I appreciate you sharing that. I appreciate this conversation today. Thank you so much.

I really appreciate you just being so vulnerable with us, sharing parts of your story. So I got a lot out of it.

There's three things in particular that I'm going to take away from our conversation, though. One is you had mentioned that there's a section of the brain that needs dopamine.

I appreciate you putting words to that, that there is a section of the brain. This is how we're wired.

We need to rewire the brain. You talked about a dopamine detox, and one of the ways that you could do that is by putting your phone away.

I think there's a point. Profound wisdom in that. The second thing that you mentioned, I think it's really important.

You said we need to be anchored. And then you mentioned in faith, God, values. You mentioned some things that people could be anchored in.

I think it really speaks to the core of who you are because you're a fired up guy, right? You're sharing these stories.

could tell your excitement with overcoming this and you're excited for others to overcome. And that really speaks to you being anchored yourself so that that excitement can come out in a positive way.

And then the third piece is I like the way that you listed the three things as it pertains to your company.

You said mindset, habits, then sales training. I like how you listed that last because how important would it be to get the mindset right, then work on the habits, then the actual training part?

I think that it really speaks to all of the experience and success that you've had in sales so that you understand that that is really the domino effect that needs to take place.

So I appreciate the points that you shared. I appreciate it. If people want to get more information on you, they want to reach out to you for your services, where's the best place they can go to get that information?

 

Ian Koniak 

Well, if you're interested in the dopamine cycle and really how to change your habits and not rely on vices and addictive behaviors to get that feeling, I would first Google my name, Ian Koniak, and then write habits of sales champions.

I think I gave an hour, hour and a half keynote about this exact topic, the brain psychology, the dopamine cycle, and how to rewire the brain, and I got very tactical in that.

So I would just Google that, watch that video. I break down all this stuff for you, Matt, for anyone who really does want to kind of calm that nervous system and not need these addictive behaviors, I go so deep there.

So habits of sales champions is one. If you want to connect with me, LinkedIn is a great place. Just shoot me a DM and tell me you heard me on this podcast, and if I can help you in any way, if you're struggling, if you want to.

Work with me in any capacity. Just let me know. You're not alone, and especially executives have to deal with a lot of this stuff.

I coach a lot of executives and sales leaders, so I know the stress they're under. And then I have a YouTube channel.

I post all my videos there. There's over 500. I have a newsletter. And if you want to check out our company, it's untapyoursalespotential.com.

So those are the best pace. LinkedIn, I'm on more than any other platform. And then if you want to email me, you can email ian at iankoniak.com is my work email.

 

Matt Zaun 

Perfect. I'll include that in the show notes. People could just click and go from there. Thanks again. Really appreciate your time.

 

Ian Koniak 

Thanks for having me, man. And thanks for the work you're doing and bringing this topic to light. And I hope it helps someone out there realize that they're not alone and get the help you need.

Don't go at it alone, okay? Okay.